Smelling The Roses For Her

“This is heavy…” He was right.  

“Yeah.”  The flowers helped me concentrate on something else. Her death was heavy.  His perspective was ..”death is final. That’s it.”  I didn’t see it that way.   

The curtains to the “other” side was torn down for her.  Windows were opened when she took her last breath. My view is my friend’s death was a setting free. Not an end, but a new beginning. 

There is no forgetting her. Family will not. Nor will friends. Nature will keep her alive in my mind.  My concentration is on God’s natural beauty while I remember. Released from the earthly pain, I catch my breath.

Today is all I have and will make it count.  Ready for a day for God to show me the sun as I walk and smell the roses for her. 
 

She

She looked down.  Not much reason to look up. 

Resigned to the fact nothing would change her circumstances, she only looked to the ground.  She did not expect to see victory in her despondent state. Dispirited and without much strength to try and change her circumstances, her eyes only stared at what was easy to look at in her moment of despair.  Ants.

They were carrying a load. Was it true ants could carry 20 times their own weight?  They had to be definitely female.  She also remembered the male ant’s primary job was mating and then it died off .  She chuckled. 

Looking back up, her mind was suddenly hit by the shocking truth yet again. This time with a smile on her face.  She was revitalized. Believing in herself with the ability like an ant, she gained the title of “strong woman.”  

Photos captured by Alesiablogs. Randomly selected. May not be related to writing, but intended to inspire. 
 
 

Dumbing Down America

Memorial Day was quiet year. No shopping. No festivities. No struggles either. 

As an Army veteran, spending time in the military was good for me.  I did not realize it at times, but glad now.  This plaque sums up how all of us should be committed to not dumbing down America.

Consider hard about an individual assessment.  To self-evaluate ones characteristics can be a successful strategy.  The best advice I can give from self-learning is to slow down. Age may have accomplished that for me.  I prefer straight shooters, not those who live their lives unable to challenge themselves.     

As a blog writer, I am not into writing for just anyone. I am into it for me.  We have free speech ( thank a soldier here would apply) and I am damn glad of it.  

It is good though when I hear from readers about how a certain post has inspired. I just passed my five year mark with writing.  Its a true labor of love and I like to think my personality matters in my words to you.

I do not like fakes and have attempted to be an encourager.  However, I do write in very deep lonely places, but it is in those writings I find my way back.  

A friend gave me advice about being single. I liked it.  The advice was about coming to terms with being alone. Coming to MY terms is a work in progress.   

The Honesty Factor

My bracelet from my autistic son changes colors when light hits it. Otherwise it's plain. There will never be just one way to explain any given topic. If that were so, we would all be robots.  The honesty factor can be in different colors, yet with the same truth. 

Last week all hell broke loose with an issue dear to my heart. I am unable to discuss it fully on my blog. You know it is big when I can not even come up with the words. 

How many times have you had a metaphor utilized by someone to translate what they are trying to communicate?  Ministers love them in their sermons to help us achieve to that “higher” level.  Even physicians pitch them to translate science. 

How many of us have heard evidence based lingo?  We all value the meaning behind what facts are known on any given subject. The question is do we need those  facts thrown at us without some thought? 

Transfer of information always brings to mind a childhood game of whispering in one friend’s ear and then another, etc until all have heard.  What comes out at the end is always a good laugh. 

What if the transfer of understanding  goes amok? Communication 101 in college  after all is more important than even I thought.  

I am always full of questions . I wonder. I think.  I wait .  I need some answers. Maybe you do too. I hear ya.  Is a miracle around the corner? I hope. 

Collision Course

Convinced it’s finished, we find excuses. Lots of them. It is never done.  Conflict comes and goes.  We can be on a crash course that promises to be the collision of a lifetime.  No one said life is fair.

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Birthdays


Happy Birthday to the best guy ever.  Autism does not define you my son. What I see in you is amazing love that others can not even come close to realizing in their own lives. You have no understanding of lusting for money or materialism.  You may live in a world made of your own design,  but it is better in many ways to the cruel world the rest of us live in.

I hope and pray for you and want what is always best for you. You have family all over the country and they have missed out on getting to know you.  I am grateful to the family you have in your friends. 

You are 24 years old. You have a dad and mom who will love you for as long as we are here on earth with you .  I know you love God and He will always have you until you meet Him in person . 

Memory Loss

It’s inevitable . Don’t count yourself out. No one wins in this battle. 

She called me and voiced her concern. I said, “what’s the matter?”

“He asked me again how old I am.” Repeat.  Rewind.  Move forward.  It was the advice I gave. 


“Keep drinking your nightly glass of wine too!” That advice she liked. A lot . 

Memory issues are ever present in my own devised, messy life. As a brain tumor survivor,  I decided to do life as my will determines it to be. That can be complicated as well as simple. Never boring. 

Then there is my autistic son . He has real issues remembering everyday life sequences. I try to make life fun for him. It really helps. 

The problem I see with care takers is the isolation brought on by the inability to be out in society as much. My idea is we all need to help each other.  Forgiving those that are losing their memory also is probably not what a care provider or family member wants to hear, but it’s the only way one can be. 

For example, Caring for my son was days without sleep turning into countless years with sleep deprivation. My son turns 24 next week, 22 years I was the main provider. I had several helpers throughout the years and his dad was awesome, but most weighed heavy on my shoulders. 

Routine also needs to be kept constant. I did not realize it until my son was born. I am mostly a spontaneous person and do not care for everything being the same day in and day out.  Spontaneity was needed because my RN job caused me to have to document everything very closely by the clock. I sure did not want to do that with my personal life! 

Written in memory of those who lost their battle with dementia.