1. I thought I was a great singer at the age of eight in 1971. I sang to the same Donny Osmond album night after night. Mom told me I may have actually sang Puppy Love more than Donny Osmond and Paul Anka combined. It seemed Mom was not too impressed with my singing. It was soon after that I had to give up my musical career. I actually auditioned for the neighborhood band and was “promoted” to manager as the band said I hit a few too many sour notes.
2. I loved playing softball. One year while on the ALL STAR team, I hurt my knee and it was swelling pretty bad. There was some guy at the game who said he could “take the pain away” by hypnotizing me. I let him do that right there with the players around me watching. Before I knew it all the pain was gone. I pitched the game and never felt pain. Later I got home and my knee hurt like hell. My mother was not too impressed.
3. I have gone number one in the pool while I was growing up. I could not help it because I just wanted to keep swimming. Now that Michael Phelps confessed that he has done this, I felt it was OK to share. Mother would not have been too impressed so I did not tell her.
4. I studied best with my dog Rascal growing up. I still love being around animals. I played with him more than studying. Mom was not impressed.
5. I was baptised at the YMCA. It was not a real spiritual experience as I froze my butt off when I got out of that water and my tittys could be seen frozen to death! I wonder if I gave anyone a cheap thrill that day? My mother would not have been impressed.
6. I once spit out food right in front of my grandma while eating breakfast she made me. I was eating eggs with something in them when I said, “Gramma this is good, but what’s in these eggs?” She said in her Kentucky accent, “Child that is pig’s brains. They are good for you.” I proceeded to barf. Mom was not impressed.
7. I was once in a tornado. My daddy and I were going down a road when the weather proceeded to change rapidly. Our car was actually lifted off the road. It was clearly an outer body experience. I remember not even being scared. I was like cool looking at dad thinking come on car do that again! OMG was I nuts or what? I never told my mom this story until a couple of weeks ago. She finally seemed impressed. LOVE YOU MOM! I know you are reading this….