I Did It My Way

20 Replies

Photo taken of the Cascade Mountains reveals the majesty of our world around us.

Photo taken of the Cascade Mountains reveals the majesty of our world around us.

I am not into reblogging, but this one from a peer of mine who is speaking from her experiences with the dying just about choked me up beyond words. She interviewed the dying and asked what regrets they had in their lives. As a cancer survivor on more than one occasion, I truly get this list. Most with good health will not, but you do have a chance to. Review this now and see what you can do to change your ways:
http://www.alternet.org/5-top-regrets-people-have-end-their-lives

20 thoughts on “I Did It My Way”

  1. Echo

    All incredibly important and that we can act on now. I worked with a hospice for some time and these themes came up there too. Looking at my son who also came closer to death than anyone could have predicted, and looking at the way he has consciously changed his life since that day, I can see how much happier, healthier and relaxed he is as a person, even though he works constantly towards physical recovery.
    Just do it.. now.. while we can.

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    1. alesiablogs Post author

      I think to me what I noticed most was the theme of trying to conform to what was expected of them. I can relate, but I also know illness does different things to different people.

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      1. Echo

        I wrote about this very theme a little while ago on the blog.. this conforming, fitting into the expected little boxes.. we waste so much of our potential, i think, doing this. It doesn’t mean not fulfilling what we ought to do.. just, as your title says, doing it with who you are, not who you think others want you to be.

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      2. alesiablogs Post author

        Sue,
        I agree. I spent a majority of my life trying to please and yes I still believe in treating people good, but in the meantime I know I was losing some of myself in the process. Why not be who you were meant to be? I hate it when people say things like, “you will never change.” What is it people want when they do say that? No one is perfect, but not being true to yourself is probably the biggest mistake anyone can make to thier own self.

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      3. Echo

        I agree absolutely. I don’t think for most people, being true to themselves includes being anything but decent with others.. Being able to express feelings doesn’t mean we have to be nasty about it either.. but we can still be ourselves. We can love and laugh, do things our own way and express who we are.. not always in the ways we might like to, but at least in ways that reflect the essence of ourselves and not just the mask society expects us to wear most of the time.

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      4. alesiablogs Post author

        That is very true. I know dealing with my brain tumor issues, I had to come to some understanding in my soul of the changes in my brain. This brought much pain for me, and I do think I would have stronger reactions that before I could control. Life is not always fair, but we can live a life of no regrets even if it means starting over today. I think we are all too hard on ourselves at times. Sometimes one must daily make the choice to live without regrets and forgive oneself from the past. Wow. This is a deep subject!

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      5. Echo

        It is a deep one, but one i think we often shy away from because of that. None of us really wants to admit we are just doing and not being.. that we are choosing, really, to be less than we are, largely because of the fear of what other people might think.
        My son’s ABI left his emotions extreme for a long time and it has taken him a while to get control of them to the point he can live with his own beliefs of how to treat people, rather than just reacting . He does this because he chooses to be decent, not because it is expected. he is living within his own self..

        I wonder if that is one of the problems. people may think that to be true to the self and be who they are means expressing every emotion without restraint.. but choice is also part of who we are. I have a feeling that the human race is basically decent and needs a lot less social rules than we think in order to treat each other as we would wish to be treated.

        But i do think we can start every day afresh.. every minute if we choose… every second presents a crossroads where we get to choose who we are

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  3. pinklightsabre

    That is great. Thank you – I seem to have similar stuff on my head this week, and this is a good reinforcement. Thanks for sharing.

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  4. Mrs. P

    Thank you for sharing. This makes a great recipe for life…here and now. About five years ago, I would have had those same regrets had I continued on the path I was taking. Fortunately, I did not. I summoned up the courage to be true to myself and made a major change in my life.

    I no longer have regrets and love every minute of my life. Really…just follow those five things and your life can be what you want it to be. I hope many people hear this message and create the change that they want in their life.

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    1. alesiablogs Post author

      I too love this post. I am sure the nursing in it is what attracted me to it, but the fact this particular nurse talked to so many clients and got these same answers is powerful. thank you for reading.

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  5. mybeautfulthings

    Hello. I have read that before but it is very good to be reminded of it often. With the best of intentions one can find busy-ness taking over again and it’s good to stop and think again and be aware of what is really important. Thank you for passing this on. All the best to you 🙂

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  7. NO ULTERIOR MOTIVE

    Here’s how I feel about “I DID IT MY WAY”… When we were in high school, college, starting our first job, moving away from dad and mom into our first apartment or house, or getting married, why did some of us let a lot of our hopes, dreams and expectations drift away? We were smart, anxious, excited and in love with almost everything about life. We tried just about anything, at least once. My guess is some of us just didn’t have enough wisdom (courage) then to wrap around all those hopes, dreams and expectations, to create a passion for them. No need to regret; it’s not too late. You’re really not that deep into your life to reignite some of those hopes, dreams and expectations. They’re just as exciting and fresh now as when you first discovered them.

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    1. alesiablogs Post author

      A lot of what you say rings true. My thoughts on that title dealt with that there are those who will only do it their way with no thought of the folks it could hurt along the way. It reminds me of Elvis singing–regrets I have had a few….but he still did it his way…Many ways to think about this isn’t there? Thank you very much for your thoughts. I still have big dreams! I am not doing anything “my way” anylonger though because I have a very severely disabled son I have to think about. It may be my thought of what to do with a twist—accommodating for him along the way. Blessings, Alesia

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  8. NO ULTERIOR MOTIVE

    You’re right… The more I think about what you have said (written) about your severely disabled son and you and what I said about how I feel about “I DID IT MY WAY”… the more I’m convinced, it all simply comes down to just being true and honest with ourselves. Thanks for the prompt.

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