Accepting What You Cannot Change

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The Winter Season is known to bring depression. I hope my photo shows you hope in the midst of yours as it does mine.

The Winter Season is known to bring depression. I hope my photo shows you hope in the midst of yours as it does mine.

My grandmother had a saying that just about sums up how I have felt this week. She would say, “I think I am gonna crawl into a hole and pull in the hole after me.” She lived her whole life in Western Kentucky and died when she was about 80 years old thirty years ago.
Grandmother could be a strange woman, but I know I only saw love from her. She cooked the best butter biscuits and fried chicken a little girl could ever want!
Yet, it seemed to me she suffered at times from depression. I do not know if she was ever clinically diagnosed with it, but I do wonder now about it. But you know one thing I do know is she loved me more than life itself and that was for real. Thank you grandmother.
As I struggle with the angst of my life during a season that we should be thankful, I must accept what I can not change. I recently wrote that my gut check times have become downright vomitus in nature. See this post to catch up: https://alesiablogs.wordpress.com/2013/11/15/acceptance/
I however at the time did not share about the separation I am going through with my husband of 22 years. What I tried to do is put on a good face with you to bring positive in my life when in reality it is not there.
One thing I must do though to move on from this timeframe is to accept what I can not change. We raised two beautiful sons and one of them you all know is Luke who has autism. My life’s journey brought many people through the doors of my home to assist me with him. This perhaps may have been more of a gift to humanity than I will ever really know.
Out of all the care providers that assisted me with Luke, I saw many of them leave our home and become professionals in the world of Teaching, Physical Therapy, Speech therapy, Psychologists, and last but not least Nursing. My life meant something and the lives touched have gone on to touch 100’s of others.
If you are suffering depression and you are reading my post today-know you are not alone. Your life matters. It really does. People come through your life everyday and you have no idea what you did to have made a difference. Remember it is at times the unseen that you are not aware of that is life changing.
Today I am thankful for you my reader. Happy Thanksgiving to my “blogging family” and especially those of you that really do take the time to read.
This post is dedicated to Myrtle who cooked many of my Thanksgiving meals when I was growing up.

17 thoughts on “Accepting What You Cannot Change”

  1. Kevin

    Hi Alesia. If I can add one thing to this post — maybe as a gift to you — is this: always remember the strength that is inside of you. You may or may not know that (when I’m not blogging or gardening), I work as a social worker in a high school. Each day, kids come to school with various issues and hardships — and I am always struck by the strength that they possess to face the day, and they don’t know it. They forget about it. And I remind them. In the course of your own life, you’ve had joys and triumphs and rough times — and you’ve always weathered the rough times because a) you’re strong and b) you’re a fighter. Always remember that! Be well and holiday blessing are sent your way!

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  2. Wedgwood in Seattle History

    I am impressed with your courage as you face the pain and walk through it. I am praying for you to come through on the other side and be proud of how you have handled yourself. You can’t stop other people from driving into the ditch. You can ask Jesus to keep His hands over yours on the steering wheel of your life, and He will steer you in the right way, with blessings.

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    1. alesiablogs Post author

      It is sad for me for sure. It is my hope I do come out stronger after this is said and done. I know I am not the only one that deals with these types of challenges. I hope I am not oversharing by bringing out my personal struggles. I know really only a core group really read through my written blogs like yourself . I find most of my views are from my photography and it pales in comparison to yours. : ) But in any regard I hope for the best in my life. I really do and I want others to know that they too can hope for the best in their own lives.

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      1. Garden Walk Garden Talk

        There are not many that actually read through an entire post, so don’t feel bad about that. On my own blog, I can tell those that do and those that don’t. I always take the time to read because people put a lot into making a post generally. I don’t bother with those that don’t. Like you said about writing, I feel the same on the photographs.

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  6. Angelia Sims

    I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Sounds like your grandmother is with you in spirit just when you need her. I pray for your peace and resilience during this difficult time.

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      1. Mary Strong-Spaid

        Oh yes…I went through a bad divorce, 23 years ago. I was even in a shelter for a while. When my current husband found me, I was still wandering around in a semi-daze. A few years later, I got diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). After all these years, I still tend to get sad and worried about things. “What if…” I often say.
        Now I have hung a plaque in my dining room (over the entrance door) that says “Count Your Blessings” to help remind me that things are really good now by comparison.
        If I would have known your Grandmother’s saying back then, I would have used it a lot. I think it’s great. It would have explained exactly how I was feeling and made me laugh at the same time. So cute!
        Happy Thanksgiving……Best wishes for a great future!

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