Whispered Story

eyeI am now talked about in scattered ways. A true story whispered across the table about the break up. It is being alone that is not spoken of. Instead it is the sustaining half-truths played out by those who do not know.
Some of my life is well worn in my mind like coming out of anesthesia. You feel distance yet you know you are in the same room. “Help me!” I said struggling with pain during one surgery two years ago. “Oh, honey, I have some medicine and I am putting it in your IV now.”
Suddenly you wake up more and do not say a thing at all. You know you need that nurse to help you and he does. He knows exactly the right medicine to administer. You drift back off to sleep.
Hi. My name is Alesia. That pain is not so bad anymore. Two years have gone by and I am now experiencing a whole new kind of pain. A kind I did not expect. It is the end of an almost 23 year relationship. My partner in life has made a choice to move on. I still do not know if the move is permanent. It is what it is for now. The details are not worth the read, but it is the cracks in it that are compelling.
Choosing to not dwell on the details, it seems better to talk about my state my mind and the emotional impact of this loss. With the Christmas season especially, I am reminded of not only my hurt, but also the suffering of many of you. If you sat at home alone on Christmas knowing the season should be enjoyed with others-the harsh reminder of the heartache is painful.
But, tonight as the Christmas day comes to an end, it is hope I would want to bring you. Know you are not alone. I know your pain, but there is always hope. Tomorrow is a new day. God has promised us this through His Story that came through the birth of a baby called the Christ-Child. It is a hope worth pursuing.
Again, do not give up. Life is worth living. Think about the things you love. For me it is fresh flowers, birds in my backyard, watching a great movie, or listening to beautiful music. Life is also about touching others, being touched, and feeling loved. Sweet friendships that are rekindled or perhaps even ambiguous loss of love that gets rejuvenated awaits you and perhaps me one again.
Life is hard. Do not give up. Anesthesia may have worn off, but hope is always attainable.

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29 thoughts on “Whispered Story

    1. alesiablogs Post author

      Sue,
      I so appreciate your kind words. It is a story that so many have gone through. I am not alone in dealing with these kinds of things, yet it is happening to me right now and is raw. I believe in hope and want those around me to know that they have hope to no matter what their circumstances are. Thank you so much. Alesia

      Reply
      1. Sue Vincent

        It doesn’t matter how many others it has happened to… your own story is the one you are living… the one that hurts from the inside.
        Yes, there is always hope… and many beautiful things to come… but it still feels as if you are wading through molasses for a while.
        Hugs x

  1. Jean Williams

    That’s really good. I’m sorry you’re in pain. I do hope that your message helps other people in pain this day too.

    Jean

    Reply
  2. jennypellett

    Alesia – I have only recently followed your blog as I was interested to read about your son, Luke. I read this today with a true sense of loss for you – someone I hardly know. Your writing is true and beautiful even though it is racked with pain. I hope the pain will subside for you and I hope it will help to know that there are folk out there who will support you through your blogging.
    May the New Year bring you new fulfilment.

    Reply
    1. alesiablogs Post author

      Jenny, I am glad you found my blog. There is indeed a lot of pain, but the story is not finished for me and for that I can be grateful . The writing is cathartic and I believe helpful. Thank you for the follow.

      Reply
  3. Wedgwood in Seattle History

    I get why you have changed the header on your blog to a scene of Hawaii. May you gather the good things from the past and go forward knowing that you have “a God Who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him.” (Isaiah 64:3,4) Like healing after surgery, unfortunately spiritual and emotional healing takes some time, so don’t be hard on yourself, just wait with patience in the process.

    Reply
    1. alesiablogs Post author

      So you like my photo! Thank you. It is one of my favorites I took while visiting my favorite vacation spot! I love it over in Hawaii and can not wait to go back! Your comment is so very true. Thank you. Alesia

      Reply
  4. Pingback: Traumatic Brain Injury ( TBI) | alesiablogs

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