Can we talk about autism? Or better yet the impact of autism on an individual? My son Luke is now an adult. His disability affects him in many ways.
While on a fun trip downtown to Seattle, Luke always enjoys the sights and sounds surrounding him. As his mom, I can notice when he feels overwhelmed. It is in those times we have to slow him down.
At home he will lay around, but it is not his usual. Luke likes pacing. I am sure this is genetic! His dad and brother do the same! If we do not put the pause button on Luke, however, his brain will go into overdrive. This causes him extreme stress. As family we notice this. Others will not recognize the symptoms as easily.
Luke’s care providers know this about him too, but it took a lot of training. Being a provider for Luke can hold special circumstances due to Luke’s strength.
Can we talk about that strength of Luke’s? I swear you would think he was the Incredible Hulk. He has broken so many things when he is upset. I decided long ago pretty things in my home weren’t important any longer !
Can you talk now and tell me – are you able to let go and not get upset if you lose every material possession you find precious to you ? I learned long ago I could.
Breaking things is better than hurting people.
He does that too, but we do our best to remove him from a situation that looks as if it will escalate to that point.
It’s very hard but people are more important than things. I noticed a sunflower growing on the hill in my back yard. It was a gift from a passing bird and I was delighted to watch it grow. It got about 2 feet high when my grand son picked it and offered it up as his present to me. I felt my heart break because that was the end of that but I had to let it go because my little lamb didn’t understand. He is my true dear and I wouldn’t want to dampen his joy but I did explain that not all flowers are meant to be picked because there would not be seeds for more flowers the next year.
We can always run to the garden shop and put another in Its place. Very deep meaning there!
Hi Luke Those are some good looking pictures of you that your Mom posted. Know you enjoyed having Elijah home for awhile. Keep your Mom company. Love you. Your friend from Alabama Dianne
Ahhh. That was very sweet Di!
Children and grandchildren broke many non replaceable things. But soe many treasured things seem to have evaporated away over the years too and I wonder if I am to value anything any more. Often I feel cheated.
I wonder how many have that same feeling as yourself. Perhaps many.
Alesia, this is one of the first posts you have written about the reality of Luke’s autism for awhile now, and it is a powerful one. Most of us cannot put ourselves in your position and can only feel humbled by how well you, Luke, and your family handle Luke’s special situation. Of course, material possessions are not as important as people. More importantly still, knowing that people are most important, why does our society not commit to providing more support to families with special needs of all kinds? As you have so effectively described, these realities affect entire families.
Yes. It has been awhile . Writing about Luke can be so difficult. My hope would be by sharing our story- more could be done in our community for families like mine. Housing ( group homes) is such a need…I hope someone high up in social services comes across my post . 🙀
Say hi to Luke for me. A good post Alesia.
Thanks My garden photo buddy!!
I can’t imagine having to get rid of things because a son gets so frustrated that he takes it out on objects. You are a great loving Mom. I wish you all the best.
Kendall- He did not break everything, but he did a lot! One of the worse things he did was throw his neck back and hit walls and put holes in the drywall. It was so scary for me because he had big knots on his head . He finally stopped it, but it took at least 2 years. He is much better these days for sure.