Spinning Out Of Control

I promise you this post will make you laugh and be smarter than a 5th grader. I promise!!!!!

The blinds on the doors can be closed to give one a sense of privacy and eliminate  a lot of the noise. 

I was out of control in my mind listening to my urologist state matter of factly, “You need surgery.” Yeah. Right. ( note to readers- read italicized captions under pics after you read the post ) .

The Classic -Check alarms when one gets out of bed.  It is really loud too! I learned to turn that off too. Call me a bad patient, but smart.  I did not fool with it until the next day when I was curious how it worked.   Pretty cool technology for the nurse.  

I walked out of his little small spaced patient room to his beautiful waiting area knowing all to well knowing the drill. Been there done that.  Confined to my body that would do what ever it wanted, I was determined and desired to do what is best as I face my impending extinction, but not without a fight!

Devices do not need to be scary. left to right 1. Remote for bed  2. Scanner (not in bed) but is used on your ID everytime the nurse comes into charge you a $1000 for your pills.  3. Most important-Nurse call button with TV controls and a light switch.

Thirty year career in nursing working hard for my own patients was a distant memory, but not that distant. I drove home.

Nurses checklist on my wall for me to see and it was simple and easy for all to understand.

I went to my naturepathic. He seemed to indicate not to do the surgery.  Another friend said do not do it.  Others closer to my mindset encouraged me to go through with it.  They, of course,have not had to endure the many surgeries my body has already had up to this point. I tried to weigh out all the advantages and disadvantages and my healthcare friends won out.  They were all nurses.  They believed in the surgical plan.

I brought my own heating pad.  The first visit they said they ran out.  I think my pain is relieved by the heating pad.  I brought it on round 2 of hospitalization.  Also note my purse.  It carried all my extras.  I remember all the little ole ladies I would take care clutching their purses.  Now I understand. If you only knew what I had in it….

I still did not, but felt it was best.  The surgeon had been so layed back and stated it was so simple.  He did not explain anything much to me probably because I am a nurse so I get the least amount of information unless I have to pry it out of him. I really didn’t want to hear much so I left as fast as I came in.

Alittle secret.  I knew how to push these buttons when they would go off.  I kept occluding my IV so it would alert the nurse I could not get my pain meds.  I stopped it from alarming.  I had NO key to increase my meds you wild thinkers out there.  I just stopped the alarms with all my handy dandy knowledge!!!!

As surgery approached, I went in with all my ducks in a row, but it did not go well.  I was going in for kidney stones that needed to be taken care of, but since I have only one kidney and my only ureter was somewhat blocked, the doctor chose to put in a stent.  This essentially made a one surgery into two surgeries.

Can you believe that the folks could watch me!!  The truth is only if the doctor orders you to be watched.  IT had to be ordered!  IT was not on me..I am not sure I believed them.  I ate my “cookies” wisely under the bedsheets.

I lived with the stent until the other day when I went into the hospital to have my stones once again lasered to sand and the stent removed.  There was a 20% CHANCE I might need another stent. The one I had was made of silicone and well over a foot and half long. I could feel it with every move of my body.  It caused me an infection and much pain like having a stone try to pass.  The good news was surgery was a success and no new stent.

Memory Board with room number, date,  name, activity level, fall risk ( I was high-not that kind of high-who do you think I am ???), food service number ( room service was available until 7p and you could order your next meal by leaving a message). 

I spent the night in the hospital again.   I wondered if anyone ever thought of writing a post on how to understand what all the contraptions are inside a hospital bedroom and tips to survive a hospital stay:

1.  Make the nurses laugh.  They will come back more for your humor
2.  Stay mindful to engage with your surroundings and appreciate the help.
3.  Remind yourself that to increase your own self-awareness- you need to shut-up.
4.  Force yourself to stay cognitively alive. Maybe start writing like I do.
5.  Build your self confidence, but also others along the way.
6.  Read captions under my photos to find out what I saw in my hospital room.
7.  Those captions will help you become a more intelligent patient (or scared). haha