Ode to Diary Input on Valentine’s Day, 1999
Recently I read from an old journal of mine. My diary depicted a smart gal with more positivity a person could muster. There was no facebook, twitter, youtube, amazon or even google. There was just a lonely gal writing.
Problems are mixed up. Some are easy to deal with. Others are not. The heavier the conflict, the more noticeable my frailties would come to light.
By 1999, I had two sons both who were born with physical challenges. They were four years apart, and still in diapers. One son was six with severe autism, and the other was two born premature by 10 weeks. They both were struggling, but needed a strong mom.
I had seen better days. Did I mention my marriage was hurting and and I had just got over having kidney cancer? Yeah. Bad. Huh. My kids still needed a strong mom.
Never succumbing to my issues, I headed them with a full frontal attack. If I crossed a spike in the road, I pulled it up with my bare hand and kept driving. Grow up problem I would think back then. Today they have grown up. It does not mean I do not ponder where I am at today. Single. Yes. But still strong.
I write this for all that are lonely. Never give up. You never know until you try and work through it. It is quite possible your fire in your belly will make the problem grow up. Do not run away. You are stronger than you think.
Dedicated to God and those sons all grown up.