Me Who

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The school hallway was packed with students.  Working my way through the corridor to my next class, a boy grabbed me in my crotch.  I turned my head around quickly to see the perpetrator.  It was shocking to me that anyone would even consider grabbing me in that region of my body.

Me Who?  The world was a different place back then. Who would care about me?

I did not speak up.  I am sure that person would have denied it anyway.  That was 1979.  I was 16 years old.  I never told anyone this story up to this point.

When I became a registered nurse, I was groped by a colleague.  I was 24 years old when that happened.  Again, I never told anyone this second episode until the #MeToo  events started surfacing.

Now more than 30 years later,  I wonder why I did not speak up.  Working in a hospital should be the safest place to verbalize concerns, but I did not.  My blog post makes only a little dent in this amazing time in history for women, but it is important to tell it.  The complexity of the issues involved  are so far-reaching.

One aspect I believe needs much more attention is for my sons who can be just as  vulnerable.  I speak as a mother and a nurse.  One of my sons is autistic and I worry that someone could hurt him.  As his mom, my emotions  run deep.  He can not speak up.

My other son is a nursing student.  He and I talked about the #MeToo movement.  We both agreed how important it is for everyone to feel like they can speak up about any emotions that need light shed upon them.

My son’s calling to caregiving is one full of compassion for his patients all ready.  I have seen him tear up when he speaks of the death of a patient he has witnessed.  While we nurses take care of our patients, we always need to be sensitive to their need to speak up.  I stated to my son he too should be allowed to fully express himself when needed.

As we reconcile this gut-wrenching issue with empathy for women, let us not forget our men.  I know awareness and identifying all aspects of abuse need to be noted.  This is my little piece that I add to the conversation, although this writing voice is for my sons this go around.   I will not allow them to have a me who attitude as I once possessed.  The notion this is only a women’s issue is not true.  Our male counterparts deserve our consideration.

 

 

 

15 thoughts on “Me Who

  1. Jane Fritz

    So many things, Alesia. First of all, I am so glad to see you with a new post. I’ve missed you! Secondly, bravo for this important and courageous post. And last but not least, I hadn’t known that your son is studying nursing. You must be so proud and pleased. As the mother of two sons myself (and now 3 grandsons), I couldn’t agree more that the topic of sexual assault is just as important for men, to know how to act appropriately, to be able to call out bad behaviour of others, and to understand that men can also be victims of sexual assault. Thank you for this post. Welcome back!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. alesiablogs Post author

      Jane, You are a jewel. I have been writing for months now on a passionate project that should be published, but it will take a lot of time . Having said that–I want to show myself here once in awhile. Thank you so much. This is such an important subject and so much more I could say, but for now rather keep my posts short. I will publish more by doing that. : )

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. Joyce Candela

    You know how much I love you and your writing. I’m so glad you spoke about the male aspects. Too many times women are seen as the only victims. Men also need to be able to have a voice.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. arlene

    Was it out of fear that you didn’t speak up Alesia? Thanks for sharing those things here. we are listening. I think everyone is vulnerable to sexual harassment. One must be brave enough to face it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. Boots

    #metoo

    I’ve been groped a few times in my younger days too. But groping isn’t considered rape hence the women do not say anything. I’m so glad for the #metoo movement because those men who harass women, certainly their #timesup!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. alesiablogs Post author

      So true. I especially consider a perpetrator who is older harming a child the worst of behaviors and criminal. It is so heartbreaking. Many women stay silent due to fear as I stated to another reader of mine. That is why we should be especially proud of young women of today.

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      Reply
  5. janjoy52

    Important conversations to be having. Turning on the light reduces fear, raises courage, gets people thinking scenarios and how to resist and defend yourself. The victim should not be made to feel shame.
    Thanks for sharing your story and thoughts Alesia.

    Like

    Reply

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