Finding Joy: Autism and COVID

Luke gazing at me from his apartment window

As many of you know my son Luke is autistic.  When he was a kid,  he brought much joy as well as significant heartache in the midst of his diagnosis.  I desired Luke to have everything any other child would want, but I knew it would look different.  Luke did not know this and throughout his life he has shared an important intrinsic ideal that I always have looked to aspire to—-lots of joy!

Luke and I have experienced many extremes in our steps we have taken through his journey on earth. Everything that mattered to me has always been wrapped up in my sense of family and raising children in an atmosphere of love and acceptance.  It was not a surprise that the first time I spoke about COVID19 to Luke, he understood in the simplest of terms.  He knew life would have to change as we managed a new normal.  Luke likes to call COVID ‘the virus’ as he understands that term very well from having had bad colds in the past.

For safety, cautious steps were taken in Luke’s apartment with his care providers.   New rules were being put in place including social distancing and keeping me out of Luke’s apartment for the unforeseen future.  This sounds awful, but for all concerned it was paramount to abide by this rule.  His apartment is so small and sitting outside of his first floor bedroom window was not a dreadful place to be.  I know not everyone has this luxury to sit in a lawn chair by their loved one’s window so I count my blessings.

Luke on video chat is fun although he may not say one word! 

As Luke is just about to turn 27, I began to realize almost half of my life’s memories  include his beautiful presence .  It is through those lens I am reminded of some of the fun habits in Luke’s life that may help others in coping with the stay at home orders that we still find ourselves in.  After all our wellbeing is so important.  Here is Luke’s list:

A.  Luke loves music.  We listen everyday to all genres.  Recently, we watched a Disney sing a long where Luke and I sang along proudly with Pocahontas on The Colors of the Wind.  This definitely puts a beat in our step and heart as I know it will do for you.

B.  Luke loves walking . He exercises in place very well.  He may be stuck in his home, but his feet are always moving.  Luke and I also walk trails around his neighborhood when we can.   Anyone that knows Luke knows you have to catch up with him!  I am reminded of the Bob Dylan song about keeping up —  The Times Are A-Changin’–

“Come mothers and fathers throughout the land and don’t criticize what you can’t understand. Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command.  Your old road is rapidly agin’.  Please get out of the new one if you can’t lend your hand.  For the times they are a-changin’ .”

Luke and Dan on a recent visit to my backyard

C.  Luke loves to smile.  His face reminds me to do just that especially to our friends and family.  Make your time count with a smile.

D.  Take your vitamins.  Luke loves to remind his care provider’s to not forget his meds. He takes an excellent multivitamin and vitamin D.

E.   Luke loves to focus on routine.  If anything keeping a schedule is probably one of the most vital steps all of us should be making especially through this pandemic.

As these steps are thought about by you, know that Luke of all people is socially vulnerable.  Socially distancing is not new to him.  You are learning perhaps for the first time how it feels to be alone.  Remember Luke is almost 27.  He has been living a socially distanced existence way before anyone heard this term.  Not for a pandemic, but for him to adjust at times to life’s rapid pace when he needed to be removed from too much stimuli.

Last but not least, Luke and I video chat a lot.  It is important for us normal folks to gather and feed off each other positively as it is for those who are intellectually disabled.  I would encourage all of you to look for an outlet on a fun platform such as zoom.  Many of the kids ( including my 23 year old son) are playing on gaming platforms and doing their thing.  Lastly, Let us all not forget to do our thing with confidence.

Alesia 2020

 

Top Fun Spots of St. Augustine, Florida

St. Augustine, Florida is a well preserved city.   Along the Matanza River which is the main entrance into St. Aug., my friend and I saw extensive marsh areas where habitat can live.  As one who enjoys nature, I found this body of water a must see.  What makes it so interestingly dark is that its name actually means killings!  Since St Aug. is the oldest surviving european city, many battles took place where many people were slaughtered.  Chaos was nothing new to this area in its over 450 year history.

Ceiling Prayers

Many times I have felt like my prayers only reached the ceiling. Can you relate?

As I entered a hotel in Las Vegas,  the most beautiful glass ceiling mesmerized my conscious. I wondered again about God and my earnest prayers only going so far.

Christmas Card Demise

He took the picture and dared me to post it!! Ok I took the dare!! I told him I look terrible in this photo. But then I thought who cares! That’s me. 

Here goes my blog post now! I hope you get offended! 

Why is it you think a Christmas message on FB is even remotely as good as getting a card in the mail? Answer that for me. 

Tip one- write a card. 

This year I wrote a newsletter. The only ones who will see it are friends that I have corresponded with via the UPS during the holiday season. That’s a treat like no other!! And no my Christmas message is not on my blog! And yes.. you can bet I bragged on my children. 

Tip two- share a note how the family is doing.

Most of all sharing about my faith in new ways is the gravy of my message.  It is the glue of my life.

Tip three-do not be afraid to put on notice what makes you happy in your life in the card or maybe what’s not going so great . I don’t mind hearing it. At least you took the time to write me. 

We all change . We are all moving forward.  What’s the alternative? I find grace to be my answer. How about you? Hope I get lots of cards this year, but I am afraid it is becoming a lost art. I guess a phone call is good, but the Christmas card is even better!!

Tip four-Take a break from all social media once in awhile and just reflect and maybe listen to Christmas music instead. My ideal music venue is the record album!!! How many of you remember vinyl? Stop you say!! Ok. Yes. I love music via my computer and radio too!! Happy holidays everyone and thank you WordPress for the snow flakes…

Contemplation

I study my birds on a rainy day. Figuring out their patterns, directions, and their timing is for the professional bird watchers. I have a hunch if I figure this out too, I have a chance to capture the iconic bird pose. Since slowing down to a pace easier on me physically and frankly mentally too, my timing on many matters has taken a contemplative approach. Contemplation is good. Birds in my backyard do it when they study the pole leading up to their food. 
There was a time I made decisions way too fast.  I could give many examples, but will just say some of them turned out bad for me. The most utmost of personal matters when it comes to  health and  family decisions should be done slowly if no time constraints are put in place . 

Yet, timing is everything. That is what we have been told all our lives. I sure have been. 
It really should not be in most cases except quite possibly the American Presidential Elections( chuckle ). As I ponder my camera angle, who is going to be the next president is the last thing on my mind…(hint). I already voted. 
Yet, contemplation does not seem a part of the vocabulary in the American households of today. Everything is about going faster and quicker in every aspect in this life. 
Today , my bird friends yet again teach me a lesson in life. Thank you guys (as she stares out the window one more time) noticing the squirrels have arrived … uh oh!! Hurry up guys!! Hurry!!

Ignorance

Is it possible that ignorance is that bad ?  After the last few years, I have contemplated that word and its ramifications. 
Here is my take on life through the eyes of ignorance. The real problem is not ignorance, but it is “knowing” to what extent we do not know. 

Recently, I began a conversation with a friend about current affairs. I like to keep it brief because there are so many other topics I prefer . We decided we need to have understanding and find out as much as we can about a subject if possible . 

How do we do that?  I devised in my own ignorance a few steps to assist me.

1.   Try to gain knowledge when possible.  Go to resources you can trust for information. 

2.   Do not turn away from what you do not want to hear because you are uncomfortable with it . 

3.   Remind yourself ignorance in of itself is no excuse. 

Do not allow yourself to be bogged down by not seeking truth. Enlighten yourself. Believe in yourself. If we find truth and practice it, this will speak volumes to others.

The question is not wrapped up in ignorance when you live your life how you think it should be lived. It is a world view based off many factors. I like to think I have come a long way baby , but the truth is my ignorance still gets in the way. At least , I will acknowledge that. 

God bless all and Go Vote!

Bull’s Eye

This hummingbird just keeps dropping by.  She has won the staring contest!! Everyone enjoy your day and do not forget to vote.  Take charge Americans!!!

Ten Hawaiian Experiences

  1. I would be remiss to not mention food only because what is a vacation without unique food experiences.  Poke ( pronounced Poe -Kay ) is raw tuna or ahi.  Foodland makes it very good and so does Food trucks near Chinaman’s hat! I had the best poke from a guy who buys it fresh from the fish auction. Rib lets from Helenas or Highway Inn are amazing also.  Leonard’s bakery is a must stop if you have a sweet tooth! You never had a better donut in your life. Please rent a car to drive to these great eating spots! Their is a truck parked on the other side of the island also serving Leonard’s pastries.  God I wish I had ate more then one!! Last but not least – I recommend trying bonefish in gravy.  I had this at the Highway Inn. This is authentic cuisine which is a fave of the locals and now I know why. Bonefish is hard to catch! Ask any fly fisherman trying to catch one of these silvery skinned strong fish who fight hard when they are reeled in even by the most experienced fisherman. 
  
2.  The next logical stop is a great hike to burn those calories off after eating so good!  That would be diamond head. The photo above I took on the initial hike up looking down toward the man made  Tunnel to get inside the volcano which is where the adventure begins.  After you spend a good hour and a half hike with plenty of water and  macadamia cliff bars- you will find yourself overlooking the most gorgeous views of Oahu. This national park is visited by at least a million people a year! I met one man who runs it 4 times a week up and down for exercise! Wow. Now that is a motivator. 

   

  View from the top of Diamond head! Worth the hike! Don’t ya think!!!!!

3. Seeing  the firework show done every Friday at 745p by the Hilton is a must. You can enjoy the beautiful sunset while sipping on a Mai Tai sitting on Waikiki Beach culminated by the sky lit up by fireworks. It is Nivana! 

  
4.  Rent a car to go to The Polynesian Culture center.  My dollar rental magazine had a coupon for buy one get one free into this awesome attraction! That was a $60 savings and worth every penny. Don’t ya think my smile indicates that! 

  

5.  Don’t forget to enjoy nature. The birds are adorable. 

  
6. Enjoy the environmental aspects of the islands by checking out the rich coral, fish, and rich history found in what lies beneath the sea. Ok – maybe it’s just those hot chicks on surf boards. Even the dude surfer seems to be about to fall off his board staring those girls down! 

   

7.  Go explore the island by driving leisurely down perhaps the Wainae Coast.  You will experience a slower pace, but I must warn you that there is heavy traffic at times so being patience is a must. I found it worth it. The views were worth it on the secluded beaches we found to enjoy. 

  
8. Make sure to take in some history by seeing  Pearl Harbor or visiting the rich history of the military bases.  There a few ways to enjoy this. One is by tour guide that I think is a must if you are short on time.  My favorite way again is by renting  a car. It is fairly easy to snag a free ticket to ferry across to The USS Arizona Memorial.  Warning: windy weather can cancel ferry service . Get there by 630am and you are sure to get on a ferry as the wind will not have kicked up that early in the morning.
  
9.  Make sure to visit one of the five botanical gardens. I was mesmerized by the beauty at Wahiawa.

  
10. Please think about going to the Aloha Bowl on either Wednesday , Saturday , or Sunday. You will definitely enjoy the opportunity to save money on a souvenir that could cost you half of what you might pay in downtown Honolulu. 

Please return soon as I will expand on a few of these tips in the next couple of blog posts!

  
My room was so comfy!!!

5 Facts You May Not Know!

  
1.  I know. I know. I look really happy in this photo taken last night over the skies of Waikiki. I am near one of the most beautiful army hotels you can imagine. I am staying there because the first fact you may not know is that I am an army veteran. My doctors have said my chronic pain would probably be better for me in warmer climate. It has helped. 

  
2. I know. I know. We have a political firestorm playing out on television about who our next president may be. The second fact is I have not watched one bit of the news until about a week ago. I realized I had not missed a thing and almost wished Obama would stay president. Why do I say that? I guess because all the money that goes into picking a new president would be better served feeding our poor.  

  
3.  I know. I know. I am living it up in Hawaii. I want you to know I am grateful beyond words to be able to enjoy a holiday I have spent with wonderful girlfriends. The truth is I would be just as happy sleeping in this cabin I photographed.  This is where I stayed 40 years ago with my sister and parents on an Army Recreational Center on the Wainae Coast 30 minutes from Schofield Barracks where Dad was stationed.  Call me a tomboy if you will. 

  

4.  The fourth fact is I am sometimes Luke a tomboy. I suppose my sons keep me young at heart. 

  

5.  The fifth fact is I am a no frills kind of gal. I like the simple pleasures of life. Thats me all alone with my green tshirt over my bikini so I do not burn!  This beach is faraway from the fast paced Waikiki beach. I took my girlfriend to this beach  where I could stay all day long! 

Aloha! Until next time. 

Lead By Example

My youngest son showing off his most angry face! Anger comes in many forms.

The title of this post says it all. This past year, I have been very angry. Sharing about my hurts, losses, and disappointments, I noticed something very interesting was happening. The more angry I got, the less others could help me see past the anger. My friends got angry too!
The pattern was simply that friends/family wanted to help, but they too were taken in with the conflicts. Family and friends had interesting ways of showing me how to handle my battle. They even offered to do the fighting for me although unorthodox (it could be a post all in its own)….BUT… I began to realize the anger was getting me no where.
So I began changing course and followed great advice from my aunt that offered it to me about a month ago. It was to let it all go. That’s right– Let all the anger GO!! Simple, isn’t it? I guess I finally was at that point too when she and I spoke. Your state of mind is powerful.
As I do this, I know my lead will bring peace and love and it will show an example worth following.
As some of you start the new year–may your heart and mind be in a good place. I feel better all ready! Lead by example. You never know who is watching.