Identity Forays

The steps lead to a particular direction.  Which way would you go without the steps?

Have you had obstacles that you thought you could control in your life when turning away would have been easier?  At times those forays may actually be considered a challenge to beat.  Others call it trying to attain a prize.  I believe that God is on the scene fine tuning us.  The existence of God makes me feel safe as I identify as a divorced woman.  There was a time I took on the challenge in my decades old marriage to work out my relationship.  Humans possess an uncanny resilience to want to fix their lives.

Whose Approval Do You Desire?

A kiss from my autistic son

 
Do not ask my son for approval. People stare at him sniffing my hair and he could care less.  The acceptance of God in our lives is not dependent on humans.   

Sitting at church today,  it struck me how critical humanity can be towards each other. I watched an elderly man act out.  He disgreed about some dialogue. I sat quiet. How many times had I opened my mouth? How about thinking it, but not speaking it?  Words spoken or not can divide. 

I travel a lot.  Getting out of my comfort zone brings me to different cultures and diversity. I enjoy meeting new people. Communication is key.  I find a smile is most inviting.  It is the best kind of approval. Maybe. I am happy.

I think upon myself and wonder how hedonistic I may be. That deep seeded place thinking only about being happy as my greatest approval factor.   Can you relate?

Hiking the Issaquah Alps!

Do I need to look to the skys for my answer? Yes, and I also know my approval rating needs to be more like how my son looks at being accepted. It is with no thought of what others might think. 

Let it go.  Close my eyes and sniff away like my Luke!  There will I find peace in God. 
  

Memory Loss

It’s inevitable . Don’t count yourself out. No one wins in this battle. 

She called me and voiced her concern. I said, “what’s the matter?”

“He asked me again how old I am.” Repeat.  Rewind.  Move forward.  It was the advice I gave. 

“Keep drinking your nightly glass of wine too!” That advice she liked. A lot . 

Memory issues are ever present in my own devised, messy life. As a brain tumor survivor,  I decided to do life as my will determines it to be. That can be complicated as well as simple. Never boring. 

Then there is my autistic son . He has real issues remembering everyday life sequences. I try to make life fun for him. It really helps. 

The problem I see with care takers is the isolation brought on by the inability to be out in society as much. My idea is we all need to help each other.  Forgiving those that are losing their memory also is probably not what a care provider or family member wants to hear, but it’s the only way one can be. 

For example, Caring for my son was days without sleep turning into countless years with sleep deprivation. My son turns 24 next week, 22 years I was the main provider. I had several helpers throughout the years and his dad was awesome, but most weighed heavy on my shoulders. 

Routine also needs to be kept constant. I did not realize it until my son was born. I am mostly a spontaneous person and do not care for everything being the same day in and day out.  Spontaneity was needed because my RN job caused me to have to document everything very closely by the clock. I sure did not want to do that with my personal life! 

Written in memory of those who lost their battle with dementia. 

A Hoarse Blogging Voice

Linus contemplates his blogging voice’s next big post!

Every time I watch my favorite sports team play, I have a tendency to get overzealous and my voice go hoarse. It hit me that my husky, raucous, and guttural voice that takes place of my normal one is not strong any longer, but a weak form of what was once there.

Is this what we do in our blogging at times? Is it that my voice may come across too strong or too opinionated? At other times, my blog may become weak because I do not tackle the blogging topic with full veracity. Truth for me though may not be the same truth for another. Yet we all know that there are universal truths in our world.

After taking a break from the daily blogging world the last 2 months , I have come to realize I prefer to allow myself freedom to write as I choose. As an individual I am as complex as they come. This brings for interesting thoughts that flow in my head and scream to come out. It is in my blogging I can find voice, yet learn to tame it so I do not go hoarse. You would think going gusto for the team and screaming with all your might for them to win is an awesome thing. I suppose it is, but at the end of the game and may I add at the end of this game we call life, does that hoarse voice show strength or weakness? All I know is that my throat could do well to have a throat lozenge just about now.

Happy Blogging Friends.