Berlin: Past,Present,Future

Hello from Berlin! To start off, I am wearing Peek&Cloppenburg’s Cashmere and a gorgeous scarf I bought on the Ku’damm, an avenue in the heart of the city.  When I think of fashion, we know the past definitely impact future clothing styles.  Peek&Cloppenburg is a German family run department store that has been in business 120 years! I like my classic look from them.

Whose Approval Do You Desire?

A kiss from my autistic son

 
Do not ask my son for approval. People stare at him sniffing my hair and he could care less.  The acceptance of God in our lives is not dependent on humans.   

Sitting at church today,  it struck me how critical humanity can be towards each other. I watched an elderly man act out.  He disgreed about some dialogue. I sat quiet. How many times had I opened my mouth? How about thinking it, but not speaking it?  Words spoken or not can divide. 

I travel a lot.  Getting out of my comfort zone brings me to different cultures and diversity. I enjoy meeting new people. Communication is key.  I find a smile is most inviting.  It is the best kind of approval. Maybe. I am happy.

I think upon myself and wonder how hedonistic I may be. That deep seeded place thinking only about being happy as my greatest approval factor.   Can you relate?

Hiking the Issaquah Alps!

Do I need to look to the skys for my answer? Yes, and I also know my approval rating needs to be more like how my son looks at being accepted. It is with no thought of what others might think. 

Let it go.  Close my eyes and sniff away like my Luke!  There will I find peace in God. 
  

Random Acts Of Kindness

Something cool happened to me yesterday. Keep reading for the awesomeness vibes you are about to uncover here! 

Imagine a world without hurt. Everytime I turn around lately,  the world’s a bit more cold, distant, aloof. The pain is palpable.   

I am full of life and know this feeling comes from deep within. It is a blessing from God. I know when I crash, however, it can be as if my breath is taken away from me. 

Last night I attended Neil Diamond’s 50th anniversary concert here in Seattle. I loved every minute.  After the concert, my friends and I stuck around the venue late walking around. A medic working with the musicians came up to us and asked me specifically if I was a big fan.  I said yes. Before I knew it he handed me the oxygen mask Neil Diamond utilized right before he came back onstage to give his encore.   

Random, don’t ya think? It was very sweet of him. It was a breath of fresh air figuratively for me and physically for our star. I wonder what I should do with it. I need your ideas!!!!  I am one happy girl right now.          

Living In A Bubble



A man chooses to walk out in a dangerous area of the North shore of Oahu.

I live in a bubble at times.  We all do.  It’s human nature.  Reflecting about my time in Hawaii makes me feel free in my spirit and safe. I love tropical climates. I am sure the fact I lived here for several years attributes to these feelings. In the above photo, I enjoyed viewing this man who seemed to feel free getting close to the waves. Water is peaceful even when we know it’s dangerous…

Stumbling along in this life is not what we were intended to do.  We have purpose.  When given the opportunity ,  I can feel music in my body and dance the night away. 

I have done that . Those nights of dancing  can be so much fun. I am in control and enjoy myself in the rhythm. Music can control the mind. I wonder how much fun this surfer was experiencing on his longboard as he allowed the waves to control him as he surfed the direction the ocean was taking him. 

Our mental state can take over our physical state.  For example, if we hurt ( brain talking to us) we may take a pill to help this brain state.  My chronic pain was so much better in the warm climate . 

Enjoying Hawaii is always a spiritual uplifting experience for me. Hawaii is a benchmark for me getting in touch with my spiritual self.

It’s amazing to me when folks argue that their conscious can not accept faith or theology. The idea of science enters the picture and is integral to mankind , but it can not explain my conscious state nor yours. It just can not know the subjective.

We human persons are more than the sum of our parts.  We have spirits that have the ability to think , feel, and can make conscious decisions. Respecting each other’s  life decisions may mean we need to climb out of our bubble once in awhile.  I know I do. Do you?  Living in pain chronically makes me think on spiritual ideals as this post conveys.  So much crisis and turmoil fill up our world these days. Sometimes removing our bubble can bring clarity.  

Credit: google and the others pictures were taken solely by Alesiablogs

Experience Matters, Education Matters, Love Matters

Arguing with my boyfriend many years ago was not the norm, but we did have a big disagreement.  He kept saying to me experience matters.  I was stubborn and wrong, and said, “No, it does not!” He was right.

It is not fair

 

A view of Nuremberg, Germany from inside its castle walls is where I am beginning this post.  Hi Guys!  I know long time no write !  I have been busy.  I went on a long overdue trip.  And I must say it is not fair to have family so far away.  Time goes by so fast before you realize life led in my past is only found by tracing those steps backwards.

Captured By Your Presence

Dedicated To My Sons:

In a yearning desire to bring my happy and sentimental past to life again, my family traveled with me to my childhood world of Hawaii for my 50th birthday. Such nostalgia is easily brought back to my inner being as my sons experienced my old life. They too were “plunged” into instant gratification of a world they may have never known if not for my insistence to vacation there.

It is with wonder bringing dreams come true for me to be with my kids in Hawaii. Living in Hawaii for four years as a young person with my own parents was the epitome of pure joy. How can you describe something to someone else unless they experienced it themselves?

Immersing my life’s past to my children’s’ present time in Hawaii makes for a true experience now merged forever.

Showing a whole new world to them is like painting on canvas. The artist’s strokes begin with a lone girl enjoying the sand on the beach. As the artist’s rendition begins to evolve, two other figures are captured in the drawing. They are my own boys on each side of me laughing with love that comes through with each stroke of the artist’s handiwork.

This life can only get better as merging a past with its present brings on amazing memories into the future.

Death Becomes You

Photo I took from one of the oldest cemeterys in America in NYC’s St. Paul’s Churchyard.

Today I went to a cemetery to photograph some stones for family members that did not live in Washington State. It is a volunteer program I became involved with to assist those that can not take the photography themselves. On this particular day, I was having trouble finding a plot. There was a woman alone near me and as we began to talk, she started helping me search for the grave site.
After a few minutes I found who I was looking for and took the pictures I needed to take. After I was done, I began to talk with this woman. I realized a sadness in her face as I asked her if she was there visiting with someone. She said, “Yes, my husband. He committed suicide.” I said, “I am so sorry to hear this. When did he do that?” She replied, “In 2010.” It was at this point we began sharing back and forward about life and death situations. It was as if she was saying death was the best choice he saw for himself.
It was interesting having this chance meeting with her. I do not even know her name, but she did take me to her husband’s burial site. I paid my respects with her. This nicely dressed lady was from Korea and shared with me that he was depressed before he killed himself and had lost much of his business. He was a highly respected businessman and it sounded from her he had lost everything. She had begun to go to work at a department store to bring in some money.
As I took my time with her, we spoke of Korean traditions and how the husband’s role is so important in that culture. She spoke of going to work and what this might have felt like for her husband. You could see the sadness in her eyes as she discussed this with me and the clash of current culture with the culture and traditions of her home country. She shared that her home may be lost soon to foreclosure and she wondered about moving back to Korea. She now has grandchildren here that make her so happy. I offered her the only advice I knew when she told me she is now an American citizen, “Stay in America and be with your grandchildren no matter if you lose your house. They sound so lovely for you.” We smiled and said our goodbyes. I offered to take a photo of her husband’s grave site and email it to her. She was so happy for me to do that. I hope in some way it helps her.

Breakthrough

Valentine’s Day Brings A Nice Surprise for me. I took this photo of two lovebirds in Victoria, Canada.

Recently I began thinking of how much information should I share on my blogging? This blog began as a way of pouring out my story for family. As I learned how to share on WordPress, I than realized my life was resonating with others. Yesterday I shared about my disability from my brain tumor. In December I also wrote this blog post: (https://alesiablogs.wordpress.com/2012/12/11/are-you-homeless/). It is a poignant description of a visit to the Veteran’s Administration in Seattle, WA. To sum things up, my sister had helped me apply for disability through the military almost two years. I had all about given up on all this until today.
It is interesting how life takes twists and turns. We never know what may come our way. If you asked me 25 years ago that my life would have turned out the way it has, I would have said you are nuts. I was very self-sufficient and taught to be extremely independent. Yet, now I need help.
Today’s mail came dated on Valentine’s Day from the Department of Veteran’s Affair. I thought to myself could this be my “love” letter from them that began two years ago? Indeed it was. After serving in the military as active duty in Desert Storm overseas and then staying “available” for 15 years for call back, the military finally wrote me a “love” letter.
Here are the HIGHLIGHTS:
Dear Mrs. Alesiablogs (changed for you who know me by this name),
We made a decision (in my favor) on your claim for service connected compensation….This letter tells you about your entitlement amount and payment start date…Your Award Amount and Payment Start Date is shown below…………….
As you can see it was a good letter for me to receive. I do not feel happier from this though to be honest with you. Please do not take this in the wrong way. I am happy for the decision, but my life is so different due to my illness that it is a catch 22. I am learning a new way though. In fact as I received this letter I was on my way to a volunteer effort. Giving back and providing my time for a needed purpose is becoming part of my legacy. What is yours going to be? Did you know there are over 50,000 nonprofit organizations across the country? By volunteering, I am learning a new kind of happy.