Whose Approval Do You Desire?

A kiss from my autistic son

 
Do not ask my son for approval. People stare at him sniffing my hair and he could care less.  The acceptance of God in our lives is not dependent on humans.   

Sitting at church today,  it struck me how critical humanity can be towards each other. I watched an elderly man act out.  He disgreed about some dialogue. I sat quiet. How many times had I opened my mouth? How about thinking it, but not speaking it?  Words spoken or not can divide. 

I travel a lot.  Getting out of my comfort zone brings me to different cultures and diversity. I enjoy meeting new people. Communication is key.  I find a smile is most inviting.  It is the best kind of approval. Maybe. I am happy.

I think upon myself and wonder how hedonistic I may be. That deep seeded place thinking only about being happy as my greatest approval factor.   Can you relate?

Hiking the Issaquah Alps!

Do I need to look to the skys for my answer? Yes, and I also know my approval rating needs to be more like how my son looks at being accepted. It is with no thought of what others might think. 

Let it go.  Close my eyes and sniff away like my Luke!  There will I find peace in God. 
  

I Need You

Photo Bombed!

I did not realize how much I did. It is true. I need you.  God I really need you. 

I have lost some decent friends to death in the last three years.  Life is not easy.  

As I rewind I know I need you. Starting over like the seasons do year after year, I am left alone knowing my story is so intertwined with you. It is a beautiful tapestry of love. 

My autistic son getting ready for a big splash!

I came home from a funeral today and while watering my plants, I sense your presence. Its from the gush of the water in my  hose  startled, I hold on and start spraying my flowers.  I think about my autistic son jumping in the lake and I sense your presence.

Water brings life. It is interesting when we are in the desert of life, we may be numb to pain.  When we are touched by rain, we wake up. I know I have. In the desert- I felt alone.  When watering and being rained on, I bow my head and wondered why I could ever think of not needing you. 

Needing Jesus everyday

The Honesty Factor

There will never be just one way to explain any given topic. If that were so, we would all be robots.  The honesty factor can be in different colors, yet with the same truth. 

Last week all hell broke loose with an issue dear to my heart. I am unable to discuss it fully on my blog. You know it is big when I can not even come up with the words. 

How many times have you had a metaphor utilized by someone to translate what they are trying to communicate?  Ministers love them in their sermons to help us achieve to that “higher” level.  Even physicians pitch them to translate science. 

How many of us have heard evidence based lingo?  We all value the meaning behind what facts are known on any given subject. The question is do we need those  facts thrown at us without some thought? 

Transfer of information always brings to mind a childhood game of whispering in one friend’s ear and then another, etc until all have heard.  What comes out at the end is always a good laugh. 

What if the transfer of understanding  goes amok? Communication 101 in college  after all is more important than even I thought.  

I am always full of questions . I wonder. I think.  I wait .  I need some answers. Maybe you do too. I hear ya.  Is a miracle around the corner? I hope. 

Living In A Bubble



A man chooses to walk out in a dangerous area of the North shore of Oahu.

I live in a bubble at times.  We all do.  It’s human nature.  Reflecting about my time in Hawaii makes me feel free in my spirit and safe. I love tropical climates. I am sure the fact I lived here for several years attributes to these feelings. In the above photo, I enjoyed viewing this man who seemed to feel free getting close to the waves. Water is peaceful even when we know it’s dangerous…

Stumbling along in this life is not what we were intended to do.  We have purpose.  When given the opportunity ,  I can feel music in my body and dance the night away. 

I have done that . Those nights of dancing  can be so much fun. I am in control and enjoy myself in the rhythm. Music can control the mind. I wonder how much fun this surfer was experiencing on his longboard as he allowed the waves to control him as he surfed the direction the ocean was taking him. 

Our mental state can take over our physical state.  For example, if we hurt ( brain talking to us) we may take a pill to help this brain state.  My chronic pain was so much better in the warm climate . 

Enjoying Hawaii is always a spiritual uplifting experience for me. Hawaii is a benchmark for me getting in touch with my spiritual self.

It’s amazing to me when folks argue that their conscious can not accept faith or theology. The idea of science enters the picture and is integral to mankind , but it can not explain my conscious state nor yours. It just can not know the subjective.

We human persons are more than the sum of our parts.  We have spirits that have the ability to think , feel, and can make conscious decisions. Respecting each other’s  life decisions may mean we need to climb out of our bubble once in awhile.  I know I do. Do you?  Living in pain chronically makes me think on spiritual ideals as this post conveys.  So much crisis and turmoil fill up our world these days. Sometimes removing our bubble can bring clarity.  

Credit: google and the others pictures were taken solely by Alesiablogs

Top Casualties

The Atlanta Falcons football team surprised me losing to the New England Patriots in the super bowl. We witnessed one of the best comebacks in football history.  Maybe the lesson to be learned is we should never say a “patriot” will lose.

Differences

Beautiful day and evening in Washington State

 

Nestled in the majestic low hills of the mountainous region of Seattle, my true devotion can be felt in the most purest sense of the word.  While we all process through life’s many experiences, my personal belief system has matured in my hometown.

Nuremberg : The heart of the city

 

(photo above courtesy of my collections of postcards from about 15 years ago.)

Can a building really mean so much?  The heart of a city is a big shoe to fill.  The feelings are certainly there when you walk through St. Sebald which is the oldest parish church in Nuremberg, Germany.

Am I Bionic?

It was the sound of scratching nails getting louder and louder. Then silence. Moments later, a small whimper began.
Lying down on my bed sleeping, I flinched realizing what I was hearing.
Quickly standing up from a deep sleep, I saw my dog Linus stuck under my bed. All I could think about doing is pulling him out. I had never seen him do this before.
It is not unusual for Linus to sleep at the side of my bed. Although, He must have moved in his sleep to get himself trapped under it.
I tried pulling him out unsuccessfully. Realizing the weight of the bed was on my dog’s back, I lifted the bed frame up. No easy task for someone in my physical shape, but it was the only way to pull him out.
After coming out from under the bed, Linus could not seem to hold up his own body weight. Suddenly to my relief, Linus managed to pull himself up.
Feeling nauseated from lifting the bed and the ensuing pain I felt in my head and back, I laid down quickly praying for relief.
Not quite awake, I thought to myself, “What just happened?” However, relieved that my dog was Ok and my pain subsiding, I drifted back to sleep.
beep…beep…beep…My alarm wakes me. Time to go to church.
Leaving the house, I eyed Linus sleeping on his own bed. Quietly I thanked God he was not hurt.
I wondered where my strength came from. It was crazy to me that I could lift the bed up.
To my surprise, the pastor spoke about, “You’re stronger than you think.” As the pastor was wrapping up his message, I could not help but smile knowing God must have given me a supernatural ability to help my pet when he needed me the most. God does indeed use the weak. In fact, it seems many times God uses the smallest of things to His Glory. My own strength certainly fits the bill.

The Mystery of Prayer

Luke with his Alligator that soothes him.

Almost all of us have something we can not do without. My son with autism has a big alligator he carrys where ever he goes. The crocodile has more miles on it than I care to mention. When Luke walks around in public with his alligator, it is no doubt others become aware of his disability. Most folks are very kind and just gaze at him. Sometimes it is curiosity that sparks people to stare. Sometimes I would explain how the toy helps Luke to be anchored and calm. It is interesting how strangers are so intrigued by Luke and his alligator. They find it fascinating that Luke has been carrying his alligator with him for several years now. In fact, we keep a supply of them around when one breaks.
When I think of Luke’s anchor, I am reminded of my own. It is invisible. However, I have not used it as consistently as Luke uses his. It is prayer in my life. My prayer life consists of a simple rhythm of words I put together to help me deal with life’s challenges. Usually I pray utilizing The Lord’s Prayer centered around doing right,forgiveness, safety, and last but not least allowing me to be used by God to help others in their time of need.
In all honesty, prayer has not come easy to me but I know it leads me to focus on God more. This changes perspectives and attitudes. Prayer also reminds me of our desperate need for forgiveness. Just as we can die from lack of food, we can die from lack of forgiveness. To starve from lack of food is one thing, but to starve from a lack of forgiveness brings it to a whole new level.
Prayer is a mystery to me. It will stay that way I am sure, but it is a good mystery. I know God is watching over me and that is soothing. For Luke, an inanimate object calms and soothes him. For me, it is the invisible. I thank God that Luke is comforted with the alligator. It would be horrible if nothing comforted him. I am also reminded that as I do pray God does have a sense of humor. Who would have ever thought a big alligator from Toys R Us could have such a powerful hold on my son? That is the same powerful hold I seek with God.
Other posts with this theme are:
https://alesiablogs.wordpress.com/2013/02/10/every-morning/
https://alesiablogs.wordpress.com/2013/01/19/nonversations/

Every Morning

Photo taken on the farm of my husband’s parents. Nature is so beautiful here.

Every morning I get up out of bed, I look out the window. Most mornings it is pitch black because I am with my kids as they get ready for school. On the weekend, I have the luxury of sleeping in. As I awake, my first glimpses may be the beginning of light from a distant, the softness of the grass in the yard, or baby birds eyeing my feeders. It is in this I reflect on God’s creation. This week as I prepare for my women’s group, the subject is on God’s presence.
In one of the most well-known stories of the Bible in the book of Job, we learn of a man who loved God. Despite all this love he has for God, God allows Job to lose absolutely everything. I can not even imagine what he must have felt like. I have lost many things, but not everything like him. Job is left miserable with the loss of his children, money, and his health. Despite it all, Job wonders why me but he never curses God. Finally God responds to Job through nature itself.
If you have time to read Job 38, it is here that God engages Job to look to the night sky and the clouds of a summer’s day. He than takes him on a wonderful adventure of nature itself and its animals. It is in God’s safari that Job is refreshed in his belief. Can you imagine being lifted up and allowed to see all things created through the wonder of God’s eyes? There is so much more to God than only nature, but it was the way HE chose to show Himself to Job.
Thanks to all of you that write and bring to life a bit of yourself through your stories and photography. I do believe their is the divine in all of this we call life. God chose the Bible to tell us so much. It is through pain and hardship, nature beckons us back to Him. By the way everything was restored to Job. I suppose God could have put on a professor’s cap to teach Job, but He chose to teach through his own Handiwork. I like those kind of lessons myself. I don’t have to take notes.