Cancer

Recently at my last appointment at the VA , I met this amazing character actor Arlen Dean Snyder from the film Heartbreak Ridge. Photo courtesy of IMDb.

The Today Show has one of my favorite weatherman Al Roker who was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer. As a familiar face on television, he has actively decided to educate the public and bring awareness. Mr. Roker’s doctor opted to do a biopsy. The pathology report showed an aggressive prostate cancer and he will need surgery.

Last November in 2019, I reported to my family physician with the VA a worrisome spot on my face under my eye. Being suspicious, I looked up the best surgical dermatologist in Seattle. In documented emails discussing back and forth almost begging my doctor , I requested this specialist. The only thing she offered was a picture taken of my face. In December of 2019 that photo of my skin lesion was read to be benign.

Again, I asked to have it taken off and I was made to feel like I wanted a face lift. This was very disturbing to me so I made a decision to go to a civilian surgeon. Unfortunately because of COVID, my surgery was not until July, 2020 and by this time the suspicious mole had grown four times its size since December of 2019. The good news was the specimen was taken to pathology to be read and I went home to heal.

For two months into the second week of September, I slowly mended. Never hearing from my doctor, I thought I dodged a bullet.  Starting to receive my bills for this surgery I called the billing offices. I mentioned to the billing personnel never being notified of my pathology report. She stated staff would call. Soon my phone rang and the nurse gives me the shocking news. “I am sorry to say your path report was scanned into your chart and it was missed. You have cancer.”

Shockingly I responded, “You are kidding me, right. How could you guys do this?”

As I hung up my phone, the anger was setting in as I had to go back to square one with the VA and get the doctor I originally requested. It has taken the VA system another two months to get me into this specialist and finally on Monday I will have an extensive surgical procedure to clean out the cancer and work on getting clear margins with plastic surgery if needed.

As a highly energized advocate for myself, but falling through the cracks at every turn has become like PTSD. Their were a number of doctors involved in my cluster of poor care and a VA system that is slow and not conducive to timeliness. I am not writing this to blame anyone as that is apparent there is enough blame to go around. Rather this should be looked at as a system’s failure along with physician’s fatigue syndrome ( lack of a better term).

I do not know if this is a volume and processing issue in the VA system keeping up with the soldiers’ care, but this was important for me to share with you as it is something that we can and should do better.

Think of me next Monday as I have more surgery and thanks to Al Roker for being public. It has given me some courage to do the same about my cancer. The wounds I have carried throughout my life are deep, but it does not mean I should not share with my readers. I need you guys ever more praying and sending healing thoughts.

Meeting the actor Arlen Dean Snyder at the VA was a lot of fun. This is a really nice guy.

 

 

 

Identity Forays

The steps lead to a particular direction.  Which way would you go without the steps?

Have you had obstacles that you thought you could control in your life when turning away would have been easier?  At times those forays may actually be considered a challenge to beat.  Others call it trying to attain a prize.  I believe that God is on the scene fine tuning us.  The existence of God makes me feel safe as I identify as a divorced woman.  There was a time I took on the challenge in my decades old marriage to work out my relationship.  Humans possess an uncanny resilience to want to fix their lives.

Photo Time

The Way Things Work

I grew up an army brat: in other words, I was worldly enriched all over the planet with weather of all kinds.  Sunny days were my favorite with mild climate on Oahu which was a blessed adventure for me as a kid.  We were also stationed in Germany where snow was rare, but we did have it once in a blue moon.  In the distant traveling to Garmisch-Partenkirchen, you could see a vast eye-catching mountain range with trees trailing down the sides of those ever present high peaks.  What a sight to behold.  Obviously, my eyes have seen so much beauty.

Hawaii always helps me to gain balance and get me in the right frame of mind.  The way things work for me is to find equilibrium .  The continual ability to put something in steady position is so vital to me so as to not fall to totally out of stability.  As the ocean flows so my mind quietly does with the tides, robust at times and tame at others.  I close my eyes and abandon myself to deep thought listening to those gentle waves while crashing at even sequencing .  Oh what joy.

It does not surprise me that when I go for massage therapy, my music of choice is always the waves.  As so my fond memories of not that long ago stay with me in a small room for treating my chronic pain. Funny how we go back in time to find the peace we need for today.  Just food for thought for you and thanks for dropping by my friends.

 

A Tree Suspended In Midair

I was staring at it and twisting and turning my head this way and that.  I was not seeing it wrong, however, the visual was secretive.  A large part of a tree had broken off and was suspended in midair.  It was protected by growth from another tree so the illusion was deceptive to my senses.  It reminded me of the quote from Henry David Thoreau, “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see. ”

Sunsets: Don’t Under Estimate Them!

It gets old driving up to the Veteran’s Administration Hospital, but at least the sunset was beautiful on the water.  Wishing I could turn toward the ocean and cast my gaze on the sea sounded so much better than standing in line at the pharmacy.

Getting Older

My view from my home

I am an old soul.  It is a good feeling to know exactly what and who you are and how you determined your own point of view in this world.  The initial encounters in my nursing career were always beneficial in understanding myself.  After graduating from college and moving on to hospital nursing, it occurred to me I enjoyed one on one time with my patients that were geriatrics the most.  I loved hearing an 85 year old’s perspective on life.  Getting older can be a joy.  This was a good lesson to learn early on.

My Mind Is Parked, But The Chocolate Is Kicking In

6/2/1977…I read this in my junior high school yearbook and smiled.

6/2/2019….When he was put in a critical thinking scenario, the whistling began as a coping mechanism. The subject was unpleasant so he was attempting to birdcall it off.

The Blog Who Became A Book

 

Alesia is Seeing Green in her garden!

Sitting out in my garden this afternoon on a beautiful Saturday with bright blue skies, I brought out a new book to enjoy reading.  This book is very special to me and if you are a gardener you might want to think about picking it up on Blurb printing.  I am thrilled today to share my friend and fellow blogger Kevin G. Loud’s book Seeing Green.

The Organized Writer

You ever wonder what the most touching blog posts are written about especially those that always bring back your audience for more? By having a blog and developing a number of readers over the years who have in many instances stayed in touch with me through email, Instagram, or Facebook , I have found that my platform strategy in writing is utilizing my personal life experiences.  For example, I have worked over the years to deliver topics around my son Luke who has autism and the many struggles that have followed us through various experiences.