Tag Archives: life

Grow Up Problem

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Ode to Diary Input on Valentine’s Day, 1999

Recently I read from an old journal of mine.  My diary depicted a smart gal with more positivity a person could muster.  There was no facebook, twitter, youtube, amazon or even google. There was just a lonely gal writing.

Problems are mixed up.  Some are easy to deal with.  Others are not.  The heavier the conflict, the more noticeable my frailties would come to light.

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Easy Out

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No easy out- we must stop or we will crash!

 

We need to learn to let go.  We hold onto things way too long that needs to be released.  I decided recently I need to start judging.  Yep.  You heard right. Judge.

After carefully thinking through this, I am judging it all.  How you taste inside me?  What drew me to you?   Where this will take me?  It is true good or bad and now I am OK with judging.  Watch out.  I may prematurely put you to the test.

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Alabama

 

I was born on Maxwell Air Force Base in Alabama. We left when I was six months old. My parents weren’t from Alabama. When dad retired from the army, we moved back from Hawaii in the 70’s. Last week, I celebrated my 54th birthday here for the first time in 25 years.  I wonder what has changed in all those years.

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Ceiling Prayers

Many times I have felt like my prayers only reached the ceiling. Can you relate?

As I entered a hotel in Las Vegas,  the most beautiful glass ceiling mesmerized my conscious. I wondered again about God and my earnest prayers only going so far.

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Monkey On My Back

Stent running from my kidney all the way to you know where! Ugh


Brain injury awareness month was the last thing on my mind ( no pun intended) as I scoped through my home last week looking for an important document. I was getting mad at myself.
Many of my rooms are partially empty. There are a few reasons for this. Without blaming my autistic son too much, I am convinced he has wanted me to redo rooms for quite sometime. ( He breaks things. I guess we all need hobbies. This one is very expensive ).

Waiting on my Urologist! What Joy!


I have had a brain tumor and some form of TBI ( traumatic brain injury) and like my surroundings well controlled. My inability to find that document drove me crazy. I finally called someone who assisted me! Thank God.

Without boring my readers, I was working through authorizations , etc with my health needs. This alone can drive anyone nuts. 
Surgery again tomorrow and another overnight stay is enough to think about, but my mind has trouble staying focused at times. I do not care if I am labeled with a monkey on my back. Maybe the monkey gets the attention for a cause that may be way worse in others than my case. 

God Follower

Greatest Mom Ever (ask my sons)

Kidney Cancer Survivor

Brain Tumor Survivor

RN

Truth seeker 

Family friendly

Friend friendly

Monkey lover

My Ashes

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Mom and I had a peculiar conversation.  After my recent hospitalization , we discussed living, dying, and a few things right in the middle .

It was apparent I must have some kind of strange situation inside my flesh. I have had way too many issues with modern medicine to think any different.  More surgery is in my near future.

It leaves me depressed, but not broken. Mom even joked she wanted my ashes on her fireplace so she could talk to me everyday. We laughed.

In all seriousness, the human spirit has been victimized to an extreme by TV and in particular politics with the hurt it brought. I sit back and realize I am not a republican nor a democrat. I am a person. I have needs just like you. We all deserve space to just be.

My health scares seem to grab me by the balls at times. Oh wait I don’t have balls !! Haha.

Yet, I stand up and am not afraid to weather whatever THE PLAN is for my life. Do not be fooled by those that say it is going to be ok . Sometimes it is not.  I devised a few phrases in my mind for you to ponder along with me. They are below.

This every girl does not give up easily and will remain as proactive about my health as I am able. A time comes when we all die. When it does, we should be doing something good for mankind.  How does that look to you ? To me, it means a few things:

  1.  Live the little things.
  2.  Keep the happy and keep it now.
  3.  Look for purpose
  4.  Pray
  5.  Family
  6.  Friends
  7.  Touch and feel….

 

Ticking Time Bomb

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I just got out of the hospital.  I am learning not to advertise much of my life on social media, but we all still need to reach out for help.  If any one knows me very good, they know I love watches.  Here is a bit of my collection.  I love swatches the most, but there is a Gucci in there somewhere.

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