Do you remember that first love? Sadly many of us have been burnt in our first ever love experiences. There is no way to define in human standards how love looks from one individual to another.
Arguing with my boyfriend many years ago was not the norm, but we did have a big disagreement. He kept saying to me experience matters. I was stubborn and wrong, and said, “No, it does not!” He was right.
There is old time history in those Kentucky hills. If one is lucky enough, you might hear of it told in a story or two by your kinfolk.
“Go on now, help me get my shoes off,” in distress papaw asked the girls.
Jeanette unlaced her grandfather’s left boot and June the right. They tugged until the boots fell to the wood floor.
Mama knew her daddy was short of breath. Her girls were too young to understand, but they knew something was not right. Jack was even younger at 9 years.
Mama secretly told Willie her husband to go on now to a neighbor’s home to call the doctor. He returned shortly never making that phone call. Willie had heard the dinner bell rung by mama. It was the S.O.S. that her daddy was gone.
Night before last, the family had went down to papaw’s house to visit. Papaw said he was not feeling well. For the first time ever, he decided to spend the night at his daughter’s home. Little Jack strolled alone with grandpa back to his parent’s farm after the rest of the family had left to go back early. Jack loved Papaw. He knew Papaw always had a good story to tell. That day, he did not know that it would be his last he was to hear.
Stories and long tales are family favorites of mine. Some of them are sad, but more often there is a good laugh to be had by all. Jack was my dad. The girls were my aunts.
Recently on a trip back to Kentucky, I had the opportunity to attend my family reunion and my Aunt Jeanette’s 90th birthday party which just so happened to fall on the same day.
I was able to visit the family farms and see the old cemetery that dates back to my four times great grandfather. He is buried way back in the tall trees far from anyone.
Three years prior to this visit, the cemetery was cleaned up. This time I saw the place after very little work had been done to it. I thought I would share in pictures a bit of what I saw along with a story that makes us all wonder about what it must have been like growing up on a farm. You see 911 was just not available and as a matter of fact many of these farms still have no 911 addresses attached to them. It is as if time stands still when you think about it. But we all know that is not true.
In the next few days I will be writing about the adventures involved in finding the exact location of the cemetery. Public records do not include the cemetery notated when I made reference to it with the folks who hold this information in the courthouse.
This story is dedicated to all fathers. Happy Father’s Day Jack ( in Heaven otherwise known as Randall by some, Bill by others, and daddy by me).
Sometimes I get scared. I wonder though about that weakness of fear and actually
High Tea is a must when visiting Victoria. The grand tea room, with the fine china and portraits of Queen Elizabeth’s grand parents hanging on the walls made for authenticity. There is also a beautiful view of the harbor to look out at that inspires one to relax and enjoy the ambience.
The tea service included finger sandwiches, scones with jam and cream, and a tray of various desserts. It was such a treat! See for yourself:
So much of life is a turmoil, but today is a day to celebrate. My oldest son Luke with autism turns 21! Luke has issues with cognitive dis-control as the doctors like to call it. He is unable at times to stop his emotions from going on overdrive. He can be violent.
Today on his 21st birthday, though, Luke is very happy. I love days like this. He is happy. I am happy.
These days are far and in between to be honest with you. As a survivor of cancer and a brain tumor myself, Luke and I have been through our share of trauma.
Through the years, I have been what I hope is the best mom I could be for Luke. I will continue, but the time has come to allow Luke to spread his wings.
It is with sadness that I know I can not continue to take care of him much longer.
Does this mean I am abandoning Luke? No. Of course not. There is no way I would ever leave Luke. He will always be a part of me. I hope that by Luke being taken care of by others, I can then take better care of myself, thus being THERE for Luke for many more years to come. Life is a constant whirl of change. Change does not mean abandonment. I have a few photos of a place I had hoped could become a future home for Luke, but state laws do dictate supported living or what homes can become group homes. For now, these photos are a home owned by Luke’s family that we hope to have Luke live in. More photos of this historic home, can be seen also on previous blog posts. Happy birthday Luke. From Mom who loves you more than life itself!
Remembrances of my past came with strong waves of emotion this week. It was as if an avalanche had hit me and I was buried alive. My son had lost his best friend and memories of this past year came crushing down. How many things does it take in my life to die before I will wake up? I was reminded of long ago of my dad’s death, then the loss of my precious childhood dog of 16 years, and more recently a truly beautiful friendship. How do we deal with life’s blows?
In the beginning of this year I began a study on renewing my life to those things that matter most. It hit me that as I saw the simpler things in life beginning to bless me, my heart was becoming wonderstruck. The wonder of nature brought me closer to God. The wonder of expectation opened doors for me. The wonder of prayer is rejuvenating me. Now this week the wonder of friendship is my focus. As I began this study a couple of months ago on the purpose of wonder, I invited five other women on this journey with me. We have been meeting every two weeks and opening our hearts to lead more intentional lives with each other and those around us.
Have you ever thought about how important relationships are in our lives? God made us to be in fellowship with each other for the good and the bad. In fact, friendships have been an important and integral part of my life. I realized how my son who lost his best friend through death has no choice but to move on without him. I have choices in my friendships. As this study began this week in the context of my life’s struggles, I could hear a calling in my heart–Come Now, Let Us Settle The Matter. Stop holding people at arm’s length.
The wonder of friendship and my study of it over the next two weeks I believe will be pivotal as I help my son and myself grow in this area. Reminding myself that no two friendships are the same is important. It is also vital to realize no two people are alike and we must accept people where they are at. If a friendship is not meant to go deeper than do not. Start adjusting your expectations and choose to love people right where they are at. Learning to love people unconditionally should be a pattern worth pursuing. It sure seems worth the effort.
One thing we can remember is that friendships do not happen over night. It takes time to cultivate just as a gardener plants her field, she must nurture it daily so how friendship must be also. I have a lot to learn from a gardener. Today though I wanted to share a few important thoughts on the human mind/soul/spirit that have begun growing in my heart and I hope it resonates with you today:
1. Be You.
2. Don’t Hide.
3. Be Honest.
4. Don’t Procrastinate.
5. Be Intentional.
6. Don’t lie.
7. Be Appreciative.
8. Don’t Do Nothing.
9. Be Alive.
As you think upon these ideas and especially the last one–No One gets out of this world alive so while you have a chance live your life on this earth to the fullest. Come Now, Let’s Settle The Matter and saturate those around you now with your friendship and love.